Posted by Anjuelle Floyd | Filed under …married life | why i write…
During a recent interview for The Writer Magazine, short story writer, Antonya Nelson, also dubbed, “…master of domestic drama…” received the received the statement, “...your work focuses on family-centered problems. Sue Miller has said men used to light out for the territories, but that ‘home’ is the new frontier.”
To the interviewer, Sarah Anne Johnson’s question, “Do you agree?” Nelson responded, “I write about families because that’s what I know. I’m very glad other writers are writing about other things and places, adventures abroad, wars and plagues and science and zombies. But what I know intimately, what I can report on honestly, what I think about endlessly, is the relations among people who are attached to one another helplessly by faithfulness and need, as well as wrestling a contrary urge to be individuals. Family dramas are always positing the self vs. community, private vs. the public, and most importantly, the head vs. the heart.”
–A Gift for the Short Form, by Sarah Anne Johnson, The Writer Magazine, September 2010
Reading this I knew immediately that Antonya Nelson was someone whose work I needed to start reading, not simply and so much from my perspective as a writer, but as a person who loves reading about families working it out, trying to work it out, sometimes, and oftentimes failing to work it out.
I am also a writer, who as a wife of 28 years and mother of 3, ages 11, 18, and 23, continually ponders and explores the nature of the marriage relationship, connections that spin and sprout from this union and how ripples in this union spread to those interactions of family members surrounding them. Read the rest of this entry…
Posted in Marriage | Tagged A Gift for the Short Story Form, ambition, america, American cinema, Antonya Nelson, children, dreams, escapism, family, fantasy, hope, human relationships, individual, life, marriage, meaning, New Frontier, purpose, Sarah Anne Johnson, spouse, story, Sue Miller, The Writer Magazine, thriller, wishes | Leave a Comment »
I recently read he 20th century Tibetan Buddhist master, Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche’s commentary on Lama Mipham’s The Wheel of Investigation and Meditation That Thoroughly Purifies Mental Activity.
Khyentse Rinpoche writes in the commentary, “Instead of being convinced that there is a self-entity, we realize that self is a mere concept.“
His words immediately drew me in.
A psychotherapist, I am forever pondering notions of self and other, phenomena, as Khyentse Rinpoche urges are but constructions of the mind in it, and our feeble efforts to understand and navigate the world, life and loving.
But there I go again, linking the mind, my thoughts and feelings to me, and who I really am.
Khyentse’s commentary, listed in the Summer 2010 Issue of the Buddhist Review, Tricycle, followed a brief article by Jakob Leschly, wherein Leschly describes his 16-year experience, starting in 1975, of studying with Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche along with many others who were students of the meditation master. Continue Reading »
Posted in Marriage | Tagged Buddhism, Buddhist Review, change, death, ego, impermanence, Jakob Leschly, Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, Lama Mipham, life, living real, love, marriage, meditation, other, self, substantive, The Wheel of Investigation and Meditation That Thoroughly Purifies the Mind, Tibetan master, transitory, Tricycle, world | Leave a Comment »
The summer has whisked by.
One day it was May 31st and our middle was finishing what had been their eleventh grade year–they were a high school junior–and two days later we were listening to a message left by the school photographer stating that senior pictures would be made the following week and leaving the date and time our child was to be photographed in their cap and gown.
The previous week our eldest, a graduate student, had left for Brussels, Belgium three days after turning in spring semester papers.
They would be interning 8 weeks at the European Parliament as an assistant to a Member of Parliament from a former Eastern Block country.
Three weeks to the afternoon I stood watching the photographer snap senior pictures of our middle, I boarded a flight to Brussels with out youngest.
The previous school year had been crazy to say the least. I had not spent enough time with the baby of our family. I needed to get re-acquainted with our pre-adoloescent, soon to be teenager.
Time flies when you’re working for those you love. Continue Reading »
Posted in Marriage | Tagged Belgium, Brussels, eldest child, Flikr, forgotten anniversary cards, former eastern block countries, graduate student, high school senior, husband, marriage, middle child, photographer, pre-adolescent, Senior pictures, summer, teenager, The International Herald Tribune, The New York Times, youngest child | Leave a Comment »
Love strengthens and transforms. It also frightens.
Experiencing love, unadulterated, unconditional, and freely given soothes us in places long hardened and crusted over time by insults and wounds inflicted in the flesh and to our character and emotions.
Love and acceptance despite and because of who we are, faults, shortcomings, warts and all exhumes not only our previous injuries, but lifts our vulnerabilities to the surface.
The frightened girls and boys that our hard exteriors have hidden over the years are summoned forth.
We descend to our knees in the face of an eternal truth. Continue Reading »
Posted in Marriage | Tagged fear, hope, love, Marianne Williamson, marriage, Nelson Mandela, poem, self-acceptance, Song of Solomon, Song of Songs, strengthen, transform, vulnerabilities | Leave a Comment »